You’re a Bad-Ass Womxn, and Don’t Let Anyone Tell You Different
Being a womxn can be tough (not to say that being a man is easy), but systematically, it is a lot more challenging to be a womxn. We can feel discouraged and defeated pounding against the glass ceiling, desperate for progress or a crack of any sort.
I feel you. Life can be rough, and sometimes, our own self-deprecating selves are responsible for our emotional and mental torment so, take a deep breath. Women are like tea bags. You don’t know how strong they can be until you put them in hot water, so I am going to be the supportive ally for all you womxn out there; Black, Brown, Asian, Latina, Arab, Jewish, White, disabled, LGBTQ+, whatever!
Even with the world pressed against you, here are 11 varied words of encouragement you need to get through the day. This is my open journal entry to YOU, ladies!
- Apply to that job. Men apply for jobs when they meet only 60% of the qualifications while womxn only apply unless they meet 100%. Be brave, and shoot you shot. Revise that cover letter and submit that application, girl. You literally have nothing to lose. (Plus, I am right there with you).
- Womxn’s bodies are remarkable. We have the ability to give birth; to literally create the miracle of life. While we recognize that not all womxn are able to get pregnant, the point is that our bodies have the ability to. Did you know our bodies grow a new organ (the placenta) to create nutrients and eliminate waste? We make milk (!) with our breasts. Women can handle the immense pain of childbirth. We are legitimately pushing a child out of our cervix, which has to dilate about the size of a bagel for a safe, successful childbirth. Excuse me– what? Even if you have to undergo a c-section, you’re still strong AF because it’s a major surgery you are undergoing to create life. So… way to go, YOU!
- As we remain on the topic of the female body, please ingrain into your mind that your body is beautiful. Your body is intended to serve you. Embrace the individualist traits of you body; your natural hair texture, your skin complexion, your scarring, your thighs, slender frame, small boobs, large boobs, flat butt, stretch marks, hooded eyelids, braces, gap-tooth smile, etc. Learn to speak to yourself nicer.
If you wouldn’t say it to your friends, don’t say it to yourself.
- Women have come a long way from being domestic sex slaves to their undeserving husbands. In the United States, we have the right to decide who we want to marry, if at all, we have the right to decide to have children or not, we have the right to pursue an education, start a company, vote, and so much more. Reminder yourself of the hardships the women before you have had to face compared to the present day. Confide in older generations of women about the bullshit they have had to overcome, and set the precedent for yourself and future generations to come. Listen to your fellow womxn, and seek out ways to support one another.
- Shout-out to all the mothers out there doing the most for their children under the age of 13 years old because– omg! Bless you during this pandemic. It seems as though we are pre-programmed to multitask. We will deep condition our hair while doing a load of laundry, washing dishes, cooking lunch, face-timing our friends and finalizing an assignment for class all while on our excruciating period. We may not be perfect, but juggling our professional, social and personal lives aren’t supposed to be.
- Strength isn’t measured by numerical matter. We are tough. You are tough. We don’t break, we bend. We deal with all types of crap. Who has continued on with their day experiencing painful period cramps? Who has continued on with their day while experiencing chronic pain, such as endometriosis? Who has continued on with their day while being cat-called for the 20th time? Who has continued on with their day after having their suggestions be rejected by a male-dominated workplace environment? If you’re still alive and pressing on, girl, you’re tough.
- Life is a compilation of the good, the bad and the ugly. You’re having a bad day, not a bad life. It’s okay to screw up. Learn to forgive… Yourself. Don’t overcompensate for a mistake. Don’t feel weak for admitting defeat or apologizing. If anyone tries to challenge you on your mistakes, remember: “Whoever is trying to bring you down is already below you.”
- Okay, women are stereotyped to be empathetic, sensitive care-givers. Not all women identify as this but even if you did, and that’s alright! Just know, it’s healthy to emote and release the emotional tension within you. Supporting others in their time of need is a great quality, and the best people in life freely express their feelings. Don’t knock an emotionally intelligent womxn. Oh, and if you need time for yourself, make it happen. A good, long cry is a rejuvenation for the soul. Devote that energy from your life! CRY! Then, dry your tears, drink some water and keep it pushing!
- Men have historically oppressed womxn for so long because they were scared of how adaptable, resourceful and bad-ass we are. Why have women been restricted from positions of authority? Why have womxn been surpressed the right to vote? Why have womxn been discouraged for pursuing a career, if she so chooses? Because when given adequate resources and proper motive or support, a womxn can do just as much as her male-counterparts if not better. If you support misogyny, then your fragile masculinity is showing.
- You are within the same company as some inspiring Girl Bosses, such as Ruth Bader Ginsburg (who is currently serving as Supreme Court Justice while battling her fourth round of cancer treatment), Michelle Obama, my personal idol for a number of reasons, the Nasty Womxn herself, Hillary Clinton, and so many others! These womxn, like so many others, were ridiculed and battered by a system that insisted womxn couldn’t participate. They overcame their hurdles, fighting tooth and nails for an equal opportunity. They were rejected, ridiculed for their appearance and shamed for initiating strong holds for womxn. Because of them, I am learning that being called a bossy b*tch”, may just be a sign that I am on the right track.
- Women have been stronghold leaders since the dawn of freaking time. As they say, “behind every successful man is a successful woman”, but the same doesn’t apply the other way around now does it?
If you don’t trust my words alone, here is some wisdom from some of the beautiful women in my own life!
I’m incredibly passionate about womxn empowerment.
Real talk: A major epiphany for me on my journey to self-confidence as a womxn was in college. The gym at my alma mater was separated into two rooms; cardio and weights. Most of the girls broke a sweat by the cardio section while most men headed straight for the weight room. My guy friend taught me everything I know about weight-lifting and all the machines associated, so I could feel more confident when I worked out solo (Thanks, Jean!). I was anxious most days as I strutted into a packed weight room as the only girl.
Always. It was empowering for me to hold my own in the gym without the assistance of a guy by my side. I was also squatting and dead-lifting pretty heavy, if I do say so myself! I loved the rare instance when the gym was occupied by at least one other womxn. It encouraged me to train harder in the gym knowing my fellow womxn was killing it on her end, too. Does anyone else feel the same?
I crave that supportive girl power energy you get from a drunken bathroom trip. In recent years, I have become more mindful of my patronage to womxn-owned businesses (Hello, IMPACT EVERYTHING is womxn-owned, and sells products made by and in support of womxn around the world!). I’ve begun rewiring my brain to visualize womxn in all positions of authority. I respect a womxn’s decision to do whatever she wishes to her body because I’d expect the same.
Represent womxn if you’re the only one at the table. One day, we will all be there with you.